UF NEWS: Hoff uses sex appeal to defrost Icey HaJ
Both Kingdoms were anxious to find a good war after their respective New Year Celebrations, and so the two leaders got together for a chat:
<degoodz> well if tomorrow works that works for me, if you want to wave i can go to normal and let you wave, but imo if i was you i would rather take button :P
<degoodz> buttons are like sex
<degoodz> or something
<E_Boko> its cool
<degoodz> and i can tell you we will wave tomorrow within 2 hours of this time :P
<E_Boko> hee
<E_Boko> i havent had a cordial war in
<E_Boko> ....
<E_Boko> im not sure i ever did
<degoodz> ok i shall wave u tomorrow
<E_Boko> k
<E_Boko> have a good one bro
<degoodz> u2
Having decided that Hoff's top 3 offense provinces would be dangerous to their top Thief/Mage, "You wouldnt get this", Icey decided not to wait for Hoff to wave.
On January 8 of YR9, Icey HaJ waved Hoff.
** ICEY HOSTILE Summary **
Total attacks made: 19 (1,907 acres)
-- Traditional march: 10 (1,907 acres)
-- Plunder: 7
-- Learn: 1
-- Failed: 1 (5.3% failure)
-- Uniques: 13
Total attacks suffered: 6 (1,381 acres)
-- Traditional march: 4 (1,381 acres)
-- Learn: 2
-- Uniques: 5
Hoff did not change tactics to take advantage of the early wave into their fortified stance - they waited for their scheduled wave time and?
January 22 of YR9 We have declared WAR on Icy Rollin HaJ Hostilings!
January 22 of YR9 Our dragon has set flight to ravage Icy Rollin HaJ Hostilings!
Shortly thereafter:
January 22 of YR9 A Ruby Dragon from Icy Rollin HaJ Hostilings has begun ravaging our lands!
Two Hours later, Goodzilla has slain the dragon ravaging our lands! Icey opted to allow their pet dragon to stick around and continued to feed it peasants and soldiers throughout the war.
Hoff stated that their strategy was to control Icey's economy. They went about this by fireballing top provinces within Icey and then laying down Meteor Showers, Riots, and Greeds. One faery within Icey went inactive the entire war due to an emergency, which greatly reduced Icey's ability to take out Hoff?s well-pumped provinces.
Hoff made light to semi chains on Icey provinces all war, while Icey decided to heavily chain the province run by "goodz"; Goodzilla went from about 3k acres to less than 300 acres. At one point in time, it was noted that Goodzilla sat on over 1100 nwpa. Goodzilla managed to landlust many acres back as he had over 200k runes and 75 wpa on under 300 acres, but he was no match for Icey's attackers. After taking out Goodzilla, Icey provinces failed to properly coordinate attacks on specified targets as their armies were spread out.
Moose_in_haze, co-monarch of Icey haJ, stated: "I think we got spread because we got taunted and the visual of a naked hoff prohibited my kd from making the proper decisions."
It seems as though Hoff decided to taunt Icey members with a naked David Hasseloff banner...
"It was Hoff lying naked with a little leaf covering his hoffness"
~Moose_in_haze
After about 59 hours of war, Icey set out orders to HOLD ALL ATTACKS!!
April 12 of YR9 Ice Ice Rolling has withdrawn from war. Our people rejoice at our victory!
** Icey HaJ WAR Summary **
Total attacks made: 271 (31,154 acres)
-- Traditional march: 223 (29,895 acres)
-- Ambush: 10 (1,259 acres)
-- Conquest: 3 (114 acres)
-- Plunder: 1
-- Learn: 21
-- Failed: 13 (4.8% failure)
-- Uniques: 117
Total attacks suffered: 279 (36,020 acres)
-- Traditional march: 255 (34,593 acres)
-- Ambush: 13 (1,427 acres)
-- Failed: 11 (3.9% failure)
-- Uniques: 132
** The kingdom of Icey HaJ **
Total land exchanged: -4,752 (271/279)
+10,744 - An unknown province from ICEY (46 [26]/0)
+1,463 - A full commitments (12 [4]/0)
+946 - how Im feeling (15 [6]/2)
+786 - You down (15 [6]/3)
+566 - You Cry (16 [5]/3)
+411 - rick rolling (6 [3]/0)
+208 - and so do i (7 [4]/2)
+185 - you up (9 [4]/1)
+126 - and desert you (8 [5]/2)
+50 - Never Gonna Give (8 [3]/5)
+16 - You wouldnt get this (9 [3]/0)
-86 - Never gonna say (14 [5]/12)
-478 - Never gonna run around (7 [4]/6)
-562 - I just wanna tell you (7 [3]/12)
-638 - Gotta make (7 [3]/3)
-699 - Never Gonna Tell (12 [4]/11)
-1,061 - Never gonna let (6 [3]/5)
-1,154 - Good Bye (12 [5]/19)
-1,945 - Were no strangers to love (2 [2]/16)
-1,948 - what Im thinking of (9 [4]/24)
-2,177 - You Know The Rules (20 [6]/39)
-2,537 - or hurt you (5 [3]/15)
-3,219 - you understand (9 [3]/34)
-3,749 - Never gonna make (10 [3]/65)
** The kingdom of Hoff **
Total land exchanged: +4,752 (279/271)
+3,085 - An unknown province from Hoff (9 [6]/0)
+1,831 - Hard disc (8 [7]/0)
+1,674 - SpongeBob (15 [5]/0)
+1,421 - The locust (10 [6]/0)
+1,400 - Yoruichi Shihoin (9 [7]/0)
+1,302 - Sailor Moon (5 [5]/0)
+1,259 - Michael Scott (14 [5]/0)
+1,098 - Orochimaru (6 [4]/0)
+938 - Abraracourcix (6 [3]/0)
+936 - Akira Fudo (11 [5]/0)
+847 - Storm Shadow (6 [5]/0)
+586 - Homura Akemi (7 [5]/2)
+574 - Smokey (9 [6]/3)
+123 - Malachite (8 [2]/0)
+111 - Ron Burgundy (12 [4]/3)
+95 - Puffy the Gnoll Slayer (8 [2]/0)
+56 - Torchwood (4 [1]/0)
-289 - RZGenryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto (8 [5]/6)
-419 - lngenious (16 [6]/34)
-487 - Danmaku Dofu (11 [5]/12)
-624 - Peter Plys (19 [7]/20)
-893 - Kurosaki Ichigo (10 [7]/6)
-1,838 - The 197 Airbender (18 [7]/44)
-2,464 - Superman (14 [6]/38)
-2,470 - Butters (21 [7]/51)
-3,100 - Goodzilla (15 [4]/52)
** HOFF WAR Summary **
Total Attacks Made: 279 (39367 acres)
-- Traditional March: 255 (37940 acres)
-- Ambush: 13 (1427 acres)
-- Failed Attacks: 11 (3.9% failure)
Total Attacks Suffered: 271 (28644 acres)
-- Traditional March: 226 (27385 acres)
-- Ambush: 10 (1259 acres)
-- Learns: 21
-- Plunders: 1
-- Failed Attacks: 13 (4.8% failure)
The Kingdom of HOFF
Total acres exchanged: +10723 acres (279/271)
+3390 acres: Anonymous province from HOFF (9/0)
+2011 acres: Hard disc (8/0)
+1835 acres: SpongeBob (15/0)
+1559 acres: The locust (10/0)
+1535 acres: Yoruichi Shihoin (9/0)
+1430 acres: Sailor Moon (5/0)
+1379 acres: Michael Scott (14/0)
+1205 acres: Orochimaru (6/0)
+1029 acres: Abraracourcix (6/0)
+1024 acres: Akira Fudo (11/0)
+929 acres: Storm Shadow (6/0)
+778 acres: Homura Akemi (7/2)
+669 acres: Smokey (9/3)
+329 acres: Ron Burgundy (12/3)
+133 acres: Malachite (8/0)
+101 acres: Puffy the Gnoll Slayer (8/0)
+60 acres: Torchwood (4/0)
-23 acres: RZGenryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto (8/6)
-43 acres: Peter Plys (19/20)
-117 acres: lngenious (16/34)
-291 acres: Danmaku Dofu (11/12)
-568 acres: Kurosaki Ichigo (10/6)
-1199 acres: The 197 Airbender (18/44)
-1826 acres: Butters (21/51)
-1905 acres: Superman (14/38)
-2701 acres: Goodzilla (15/52)
The Kingdom of Icey HaJ
Total acres exchanged: -10723 acres (271/279)
+9785 acres: Anonymous province from ICEY (46/0)
+1336 acres: A full commitments (12/0)
+796 acres: how Im feeling (15/2)
+597 acres: You down (15/3)
+417 acres: You Cry (16/3)
+376 acres: rick rolling (6/0)
+68 acres: you up (9/1)
+40 acres: and so do i (7/2)
+16 acres: You wouldnt get this (9/0)
-5 acres: and desert you (8/2)
-148 acres: Never Gonna Give (8/5)
-325 acres: Never gonna say (14/12)
-695 acres: Never gonna run around (7/6)
-757 acres: Gotta make (7/3)
-800 acres: I just wanna tell you (7/12)
-906 acres: Never Gonna Tell (12/11)
-1185 acres: Never gonna let (6/5)
-1481 acres: Good Bye (12/19)
-2161 acres: Were no strangers to love (2/16)
-2414 acres: what Im thinking of (9/24)
-2571 acres: You Know The Rules (20/39)
-2868 acres: or hurt you (5/15)
-3667 acres: you understand (9/34)
-4171 acres: Never gonna make (10/65)
Goodz, Leader of Hoff, Commented:
MVP was Hoffdor the dragon that wouldn't die.
He lived the whole war and due to a grumpy member of our KD was spared by us sending our 2nd dragon when it was obvious they were withdrawing.
(Sorry about the 2nd drakon, no one has owned up to sending it!)
Moose_in_haze, Co-monarch of Icey HaJ, Commented:
"I believe the camera photographs your aura, and it also photographs your heart. And I cast "Baywatch" that way."- David Hasselhoff
E_Boko, Co-monarch of Icey HaJ, Commented:
"rick astley will have nightmares for the rest of the age. trust me when i say do not hassle the hoff..."
