WAR ARTICLE: Elitest Jerks and Bunnehs TF finally tangle
The war between Elitest Jerks and Bunnehs TF did not conclude as the kingdoms took the war all the way through to the end of the age. The build up to this ages conflict (According to Jerks) apparently started last age as Bunnehs had bottomfed Jerks and forced them to NAP the whole TF alliance. This is reason that they waved Bunnehs this age when they had come out of war and were fat. According to Bunnehs they were only a few hours out of their war but Jerks are disputing this and saying it was around 36 hours.
Bunnehs, being in no shape to war, offered a cf and asked Jerks to move on. Ultimately, this was achieved but with a 48 hour notice condition that couldn't be given during war, hostile or post war CF.
These conditions were agreed to by Bunnehs to get Jerks off their back but according to Soloc, monarch of Bunnehs, they had no intention to stick to the conditions of the CF. They knew that Jerks would most likely break it before they did and under whatever reason or excuse they could find (this is the sentiment of Bunnehs and NOT my own). Jerks had also started a dragon for their wave on Bunnehs, which they did not cancel even when they went into a war with HaLL of Heroes. As far as Bunnehs were concerned, the uncancelled dragon was an indication of intent and it set their tone for their own actions.
After Jerks came out of that war, Bunnehs returned the favour by waving Jerks, as they came out of their war ending CF. This led to a retal war between the kingdoms before Jerks went into a fake war. While Jerks were in their FW, Bunnehs waited, expecting Jerks to declare them when they left the FW. Nothing is ever that simple!! While Bunnehs were waiting, HaLL of Heroes (HoH) cancelled their CF and waved them. Rather than sitting around waiting on Jerks, Bunnehs decided to war HoH. This turned out to be a bad decision. Based on the assessment given from Bunnehs, their activity against HoH was very poor and rather than getting heavily damaged in the war and giving Jerks the opportunity to have a field day against them, Bunnehs WD and used the war ending CF to get into the best condition they could. It is worth noting that during the war, Jerks sent two dragons into Bunnehs.
By the time Bunnehs came out of war, Jerks were out of their fake war and pre-empting a strike from them, Bunnehs decided to drop the cf they had in place with Jerks and waved them early. Activity remained poor for Bunnehs and they were unable to pull off an effective wave. Jerks were able to get people on, retal wave Bunnehs for more acres, before darting into another fake war. Bunnehs continued to hit into the fake war for the first 12 hours before the full war bonuses kicked in, preventing them from causing any real damage. They were back to waiting on Jerks and the war that seemed to be forever elusive.
During the wait for Jerks, Notorious waved Bunnehs and rather than sitting around and waiting, Bunnehs took Notorious to war and found their activity again. It was apparently a bit of a one sided affair and certainly for Bunnehs, the whole situation smacked of foul play. They believe that Jerks called in Notorious to wave them. Jerks adamently deny this as Notorious were also apparently running from Freeakstyle and it was coincidence that Bunnehs were the largest target available for Notorious to wave. However, for Bunnehs, based on forum posts made by members of Notorious, they believe thier suspicions are correct.
Evidence from Bunnehs TF below, which makes them believe that Jerks called in Notorious:
June 23 of YR13 #2
The Wealthy Knight Puck of
Discharged in
Notorious WAR
Courtier
well that was a good waste of time, thanks for raping us. have fun with jerks . . . oh wait i've said to much. hope you enjoyed the hits from outside cause i thought they were f*cking lame and shameful.
However, in defence of Notorious, the vice monarch commented:
July 2 of YR13 #9
Not me the Rogue of
The middle prov in
Notorious WAR
Royal Chamberlain
Nope this was what everyone wanted. Everyone in our kingdom whined for a war and when I refused to war FS we went for you guys. Jerks might have pointed us in your direction but the decition to actualy war with you was mine. Also a big lack of other kingdoms who would actualy war us kinda forced us towards you guys.. Sad but true. Great war Bunnies, you raped us exactly like we thought you would but we got ourselves a war at last.
I have posted the war summary between Bunnehs and Notorious below.
Bunnehs have admitted, the acres they had gained from Notorious were useful in their overall conflict and build up to the war against Jerks that eventually did take place. During the war with Notorious, Jerks once again sent dragons to Bunnehs with the first arriving a mere 5 hours after Bunnehs declared war on Notorious.
April 23 of YR13 We have declared WAR on Notorious dubble hostile.
May 4 of YR13 A Emerald Dragon from JERKS HOSTILE STFO has begun ravaging our lands!
May 4 of YR13 JERKS HOSTILE STFO has begun a Ruby Dragon project against us!
Bunnehs did not slay the dragons because they knew that Jerks would just keep sending them and they did not want to weaken themselves in any way knowing that Jerks were going to be waiting for them once they left war with Notorious. Once Notorious had WD at min time, Bunnehs took as much advantage as they could from the 48 hour end of war cf they had.
Just to help establish the time frames for the declaration of war by Jerks.
June 23 of YR13 Notorious WAR has withdrawn from war. Our people rejoice at our victory!
This meant that the war ending ceasefire ended on January 23rd YR14.
Jerks declared as soon as Bunnehs were out of their war with Notorious.
January 23 of YR14 DECLARE BUNNIES NEXT TICK STFO has declared WAR with our kingdom!
Bunnehs were obviously fat on acres and although they started 1 million nw larger than Jerks, that nw was easily eaten into as Jerks heavy chained the undead provinces of Bunnehs. The targetting of the Undeads enabled Bunnehs to focus on getting their halfers and elves trained and allowed them to become unbreakable. To protect their large provinces, Bunnehs focused on targetting those provinces in Jerks with the most offence and feeding their biggies more defence in order to get them further out of reach of the attackers in Jerks. Both the bottom halves of the kingdoms were the most involved, all suiciding to get acres and swapping them back and forth. When the war started, Bunnehs were considerably larger and therefor Jerks were unable to really bring down the top provinces of Bunnehs but were able to control the middle ground. Pendel, the monarch of Jerks, gave the following assessment:
[23:10] <Pendel> they were lot bigger than us
[23:10] <Pendel> with many top attakcers
[23:10] <Pendel> and we had only 1 attacker that could break 400K def
[23:11] <Pendel> so we knew it was war till eoa
[23:11] <Pendel> and declared them
[23:11] <Pendel> we focused on dropping their top attckers
[23:11] <Pendel> which we did good
[23:11] <Pendel> all were dropped under 300K nw
[23:11] <Pendel> in same time we built 3 unbreakables
[23:12] <Pendel> but thye built more big guys
[23:12] <Pendel> so at the last 3 days
[23:12] <Pendel> we were holding the middle
[23:12] <Pendel> while they had the bottom and the top
[23:12] <Pendel> was fun
Towards the end of the age, Bunnehs realised that Jerks's biggest province, URSUS, could be broken if they pumped up their largest attackers. Bunnehs achieved the following results before the end of age:
July 6 of YR14 left my baby and I feel so bad, captured 1,001 acres of land from URSUS.
July 15 of YR14 perception, captured 839 acres of land from URSUS.
There was also another big hit on the other large province in Jerks:
July 18 of YR14 left my baby and I feel so bad, captured 1,020 acres of land from TACTICAL NUCLEAR PENGUIN.
Many other hits were made by both kingdoms but ultimately the age ended before any more big hits could be made and no victor being declared.
THE WAR CARRIED ON TILL THE AGE FINISHED.
SUMMARIES:
First Retal War Papers from Bunnehs TF:
** Summary **
Total Attacks Made: 95 (20985 acres)
-- Traditional March: 56 (20467 acres)
-- Ambush: 3 (518 acres)
-- Massacres: 26 (96241 people)
-- Learns: 3
-- Plunders: 2
-- Failed Attacks: 5 (5.3% failure)
Total Attacks Suffered: 45 (11335 acres)
-- Traditional March: 27 (10297 acres)
-- Ambush: 8 (1038 acres)
-- Massacres: 6 (75660 people)
-- Failed Attacks: 4 (8.9% failure)
The Kingdom of Bunnehs TF
Total acres exchanged: +9650 acres (95/45)
+1130 acres: Xena (5/1)
+1056 acres: Vorian Atreides (5/2)
+912 acres: Shes the best that I ever had (4/0)
+851 acres: Anonymous province (3/0)
+799 acres: The Poop King (4/0)
+769 acres: A Little Samba (3/1)
+754 acres: snake_eyes (4/1)
+692 acres: of the inception (3/0)
+587 acres: left my baby and I feel so bad (3/1)
+557 acres: Guess my race is run (3/0)
+544 acres: Intensity (3/0)
+356 acres: I am UB (3/0)
+355 acres: Mittelschmerz (5/4)
+310 acres: Meowville (6/3)
+179 acres: GOGO-BABY (2/2)
+153 acres: I fought the law (2/1)
+143 acres: Magic Field (2/0)
+132 acres: Crash Bang Boom (4/2)
+73 acres: perception (3/5)
+36 acres: Two For Flinching (2/1)
-24 acres: Foul Bachelor Frog (4/1)
-36 acres: Noxus (4/3)
-54 acres: Involuntary euthanasia (5/4)
-153 acres: Till Death Do Us Part (8/9)
-175 acres: Lemmiwinks2 (3/2)
-296 acres: Eolin (2/2)
The Kingdom of Elitest Jerks
Total acres exchanged: -10214 acres (42/95)
+1869 acres: Anonymous province from (7/0)
+207 acres: KILLKENNY (2/1)
+176 acres: CORONA (1/0)
+0 acres: COLT 45 (0/1)
+0 acres: COORS LIGHT (0/4)
+0 acres: STAROPRAMEN (0/1)
+0 acres: URSUS (0/3)
-58 acres: MARY JO HEMP BEER (0/1)
-153 acres: HEINEKEN (1/1)
-253 acres: KWAK (2/3)
-332 acres: TACTICAL NUCLEAR PENGUIN (1/6)
-373 acres: COOPERS (2/3)
-474 acres: RED HORSE (7/9)
-531 acres: GROLSCH (0/1)
-624 acres: HOBGOBLIN (1/4)
-648 acres: CHIMAY (4/5)
-723 acres: ZEUNERTS HIGH COAST (3/5)
-860 acres: WASATCH POLYGAMY PORTER (4/8)
-1084 acres: DOGFISH HEAD (2/14)
-1173 acres: GUINNESS (3/10)
-1684 acres: BUDWEISER (0/6)
-1687 acres: SAN MIGUEL (2/4)
-1809 acres: SILVA BRUNA (0/5)
Second Retal War Summary from Bunnehs TF:
Total Attacks Made: 16 (3973 acres)
-- Traditional March: 12 (3973 acres)
-- Plunders: 1
-- Failed Attacks: 3 (18.8% failure)
Total Attacks Suffered: 20 (6126 acres)
-- Traditional March: 18 (6126 acres)
-- Failed Attacks: 2 (10% failure)
The Kingdom of Bunnehs TF
Total acres exchanged: -2153 acres (16/20)
+1462 acres: Anonymous province from (5/0)
+338 acres: snake_eyes (1/0)
+163 acres: Crash Bang Boom (1/1)
+156 acres: Till Death Do Us Part (1/1)
+0 acres: I am UB (1/0)
-79 acres: A Little Samba (1/1)
-193 acres: Lemmiwinks2 (0/1)
-311 acres: Guess my race is run (1/1)
-612 acres: Eolin (1/6)
-627 acres: Xena (2/1)
-636 acres: Involuntary euthanasia (1/3)
-700 acres: Vorian Atreides (1/3)
-1114 acres: Magic Field (0/2)
The Kingdom of Elitest Jerks:
Total acres exchanged: +2153 acres (20/16)
+4857 acres: Anonymous province from (15/0)
+149 acres: HEINEKEN (1/1)
+0 acres: SILVA BRUNA (1/0)
-10 acres: RED HORSE (0/1)
-112 acres: ZEUNERTS HIGH COAST (1/3)
-184 acres: CHIMAY (1/2)
-236 acres: WASATCH POLYGAMY PORTER (1/1)
-263 acres: HOBGOBLIN (0/2)
-336 acres: BUDWEISER (0/1)
-486 acres: DOGFISH HEAD (0/1)
-513 acres: TACTICAL NUCLEAR PENGUIN (0/1)
-713 acres: SAN MIGUEL (0/3)
War Summary from Bunnehs v Notorious:
Total Attacks Made: 235 (32961 acres)
-- Traditional March: 222 (32286 acres)
-- Ambush: 4 (675 acres)
-- Failed Attacks: 9 (3.8% failure)
Total Attacks Suffered: 112 (20504 acres)
-- Traditional March: 104 (20255 acres)
-- Ambush: 2 (249 acres)
-- Failed Attacks: 6 (5.4% failure)
The Kingdom of Bunnehs TF:
Total acres exchanged: +12457 acres (235/112)
WAR PAPERS FROM BUNNEHS VS. ELITESTS JERKS:
Total Attacks Made: 825 (113544 acres)
-- Traditional March: 765 (109433 acres)
-- Conquest: 13 (1259 acres)
-- Ambush: 19 (2852 acres)
-- Failed Attacks: 28 (3.4% failure)
Total Attacks Suffered: 695 (105535 acres)
-- Traditional March: 673 (105189 acres)
-- Ambush: 2 (305 acres)
-- Raze: 1 (41 acres)
-- Failed Attacks: 19 (2.7% failure)
The Kingdom of Bunnehs TF
Total acres exchanged: +8009 acres (825/695)
+3165 acres: left my baby and I feel so bad (28/0)
+3137 acres: perception (19/1)
+3130 acres: Meowville (23/2)
+3100 acres: Magic Field (40/0)
+2979 acres: I fought the law (31/2)
+2804 acres: Shes the best that I ever had (22/0)
+2605 acres: GOGO-BABY (16/4)
+2537 acres: Two For Flinching (15/0)
+2095 acres: Lemmiwinks2 (20/4)
+1848 acres: I am UB (27/0)
+1598 acres: Guess my race is run (20/6)
+1438 acres: Involuntary euthanasia (54/40)
+1434 acres: Intensity (37/11)
+380 acres: Eolin (16/8)
+208 acres: Foul Bachelor Frog (36/10)
-165 acres: Noxus (32/32)
-556 acres: Mittelschmerz (51/80)
-1477 acres: The Poop King (39/55)
-1551 acres: A Little Samba (45/42)
-2397 acres: snake_eyes (47/26)
-2636 acres: Till Death Do Us Part (53/82)
-2648 acres: Vorian Atreides (55/73)
-3542 acres: Xena (41/76)
-3673 acres: of the inception (14/39)
-5804 acres: Crash Bang Boom (44/102)
The Kingdom of Elitest Jerks
Total acres exchanged: -8050 acres (695/825)
+3308 acres: TACTICAL NUCLEAR PENGUIN (11/3)
+3132 acres: GROLSCH (30/8)
+2773 acres: MARY JO HEMP BEER (28/5)
+2665 acres: KWAK (11/1)
+2577 acres: URSUS (8/3)
+1944 acres: HEINEKEN (19/4)
+1767 acres: GUINNESS (26/11)
+1734 acres: KILLKENNY (24/11)
+910 acres: COLT 45 (16/0)
+909 acres: CORONA (20/14)
-54 acres: SPATEN OKTOBERFEST (34/37)
-377 acres: ZEUNERTS HIGH COAST (12/10)
-830 acres: STAROPRAMEN (38/42)
-869 acres: BUDWEISER (32/31)
-1077 acres: COOPERS (32/22)
-1256 acres: SAN MIGUEL (25/31)
-1456 acres: NILS OSCAR (38/55)
-1799 acres: SILVA BRUNA (33/29)
-1819 acres: COORS LIGHT (29/16)
-2046 acres: DOGFISH HEAD (14/12)
-2285 acres: STEEL RESERVE 211 (36/33)
-3034 acres: HOBGOBLIN (24/49)
-3037 acres: WASATCH POLYGAMY PORTER (48/83)
-4432 acres: RED HORSE (49/106)
-5398 acres: CHIMAY (58/209)
COMMENTS:
Soloc, monarch of Bunnehs TF, commented:
I'm glad after 3 weeks of ongoing hostilities, we finally managed to duke it out in a war and set things straight, even if it was an EoA war. Thanks to all the Bunnehs who were awesome as usual, thanks for everything and farewell to Justin aka Nemo, and thanks to our friends and allies for their (non-military) support during this ordeal. To Jerks, who will probably demand a rematch next age: drop us a line when you decide to tag up.
Pendel, monarch of Elitest Jerks, commented:
Jerks Forever, tks to the Jerks crew for the awesome activity.Bunnies cya next age prepare to be nailed!And no more cf from us. die tf die haj :-P :-)
Reporters Note
Pendel didn't supply me with any war papers because he hadn't saved the last 36+ hours of the war. I asked if he was happy for me just to use the papers from Bunnehs, which he said he was. This is why there is only one set of papers.
