One thing I would query:

Fuzzy, you say you chose not to double-hostile Sleepy by hitting into Sanctuary's hostile with them, yet you claim a state of hostile still existed between you. Which is it mate, one or the other? The two statements are mutually exclusive.

Even disregarding Coss' expressed opinion regarding a hostile requiring in-game relations, either a hostile still existed between yourselves and Sleepy throughout the fwar, in which case you should have been hitting Sleepy the moment you left the fwar regardless of their status with other kingdoms (other than a real war, ofc), or it didn't, in which case SG was legit in giving you notice. You cannot sit there OOW doing nothing and waiting for a kd to finish a hostile and then claim "sorry, we're already in a hostile" when someone serves you notice.