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Thread: Krozair's Krackup's

  1. #721
    Postaholic Krozair's Avatar
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    FUNNY AND CLEVER CLASSIFIED ADS
    FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER - 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

    FREE PUPPIES - 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog

    FREE PUPPIES - Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

    COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED - Also 1 gay bull for sale

    JOINING NUDIST COLONY! - Must sell washer and dryer 100

    WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE - Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie

    FOR SALE BY OWNER - Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, 200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

    1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB - $850/offer

    CLOTHES WASHER $100 - Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed

    SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE - Only used on snowy days

    FREE PUPPIES - Part German shepherd - part dog

    TWO WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES - 1 x 5-finger, 1 x 3-finger, PAIR: $15

    TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX - Comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5l, auto, excellent condition $6800

    83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK - $2000

    STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT - $15

    GERMAN SHEPHERD - Female. 85lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.

    FULL SIZED MATTRESS - 20yr warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell

    FREE CAN OF PORK & BEANS - With purchase of 3 br 2 bath home

    FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50

    NORDIC TRACK $300 - Hardly used. Call Chubbie

    FREE: FARM KITTENS - Ready to eat

    AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - Pole included $100

    NOTICE: TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE - Please return the pumpkin and be checked. Pumpkin may be radioactive. All other plants in vicinity are dead.

    EXERCISE EQUIPMENT - Queen size mattress & box springs -$175

    3-YEAR OLD TEACHER NEEDED FOR PRE-SCHOOL - Experience preferred.

    FOR SALE - Three canaries of undermined sex.

    GREAT DAMES FOR SALE - Free to good home.

    WANTED: HAIR CUTTER - Excellent growth potential.

    LOST: SMALL APRICOT POODLE - Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

    FOUR-POSTER BED - 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

    DOG FOR SALE - Eats anything and is fond of children.

    WANTED - Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

    WANTED - Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

    FOR SALE - Several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.


    PS - thx 4 the war 2:3
    Laughter IS the best medicine - always

  2. #722
    Postaholic Krozair's Avatar
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    I found a wallet yesterday, and was tossing up whether I should hand it in. Then I thought "Well, if I lost MY wallet with three hundred and fifty dollars in it, how would I feel?" And I realised that it was a no brainer and that I would want to be taught a lesson.
    Laughter IS the best medicine - always

  3. #723
    Postaholic Krozair's Avatar
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    Thx for the war 3:3


    John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. The drugstore owner had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then a man came in coughing and asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering the owner's warning, John sold the man a box of Laxettes and instructed him to take the entire box all at once.

    The customer immediately consumed the entire box in the store and then walked outside and leaned against a lamppost. The drugstore owner had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired. "He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Laxettes and told him to take it all at once".

    "Laxettes won't cure a cough!" the owner shouted angrily. "Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post. "Look at him. He's too afraid to cough".
    Laughter IS the best medicine - always

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