FUNNY AND CLEVER CLASSIFIED ADS
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER - 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES - 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog

FREE PUPPIES - Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED - Also 1 gay bull for sale

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! - Must sell washer and dryer £100

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE - Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie

FOR SALE BY OWNER - Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB - $850/offer

CLOTHES WASHER $100 - Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE - Only used on snowy days

FREE PUPPIES - Part German shepherd - part dog

TWO WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES - 1 x 5-finger, 1 x 3-finger, PAIR: $15

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX - Comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5l, auto, excellent condition $6800

83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK - $2000

STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT - $15

GERMAN SHEPHERD - Female. 85lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.

FULL SIZED MATTRESS - 20yr warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell

FREE CAN OF PORK & BEANS - With purchase of 3 br 2 bath home

FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50

NORDIC TRACK $300 - Hardly used. Call Chubbie

FREE: FARM KITTENS - Ready to eat

AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - Pole included $100

NOTICE: TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE - Please return the pumpkin and be checked. Pumpkin may be radioactive. All other plants in vicinity are dead.

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT - Queen size mattress & box springs -$175

3-YEAR OLD TEACHER NEEDED FOR PRE-SCHOOL - Experience preferred.

FOR SALE - Three canaries of undermined sex.

GREAT DAMES FOR SALE - Free to good home.

WANTED: HAIR CUTTER - Excellent growth potential.

LOST: SMALL APRICOT POODLE - Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

FOUR-POSTER BED - 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

DOG FOR SALE - Eats anything and is fond of children.

WANTED - Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

WANTED - Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

FOR SALE - Several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.


PS - thx 4 the war 2:3