My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned... couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so... they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor. It was a so-so job, and I guess I just wasn't suited for it.

Next, I tried working in a muffler factory but that... was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but... I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef. Figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just... didn't have the time.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I... couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found... I wasn't very noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I... didn't have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I... just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I... couldn't live on my net income.

Thought about becoming a witch, so I... tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool-maintenance company, but the work was... just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I... wasn't up to it.

So then I got a job in as a personal trainer, but they said I... wasn't fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking and I... was discharged.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realised there was... no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it... was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED AND I FOUND I'M A PERFECT FIT FOR THIS JOB!