As it is Thanks Giving in the USA.....
BUTTERBALL TURKEY TALK LINE
Over the years, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line staff has had their share of memorable calls... inquiries that stand out from the crowd because they're amusing or absurd. Here's some of the better ones...
-Roasting a turkey doesn't have to interfere with the daily routine, so said a retired Floridian. He called the Talk-Line for turkey grilling tips while waiting to tee off from the 14th hole.
-Taking turkey preparation an extra step, a Virginian wondered "How do you thaw a fresh turkey?" The Talk-Line staffer explained that fresh turkeys aren't frozen and don't need to be thawed.
-On Thanksgiving Day, a Georgian woman took the "Be prepared" motto to heart. She had just agreed to host Thanksgiving Dinner and called the Talk-Line a year ahead of time for turkey tips.
-A woman called the Talk-Line to find out how long it would take to roast her turkey. To answer the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the bird weighed. The woman responded "I don't know, it's still running around outside".
-No matter how you slice it, Thanksgiving just isn't Thanksgiving without turkey. A restaurant owner in California wanted to know how to roast a turkey for a vegetarian menu.
-A West Coast woman took turkey preparation to extremes by scrubbing her bird with bleach. Afterward, she called the Talk-Line to find out how to clean off the bleach. To her dismay, she was advised to dispose of the turkey.
-After discovering a turkey from 1969 in his recently departed dad's freezer, an Alabama man called the Talk-Line to ask about the best way to cook the 30+ year-old bird. Although the Talk-Line staffer recommended the open roasting pan method to cook most turkeys, this time she suggested that the first step was to purchase a fresher fowl!
-One caller was well versed at walking down the aisle, but not so versed when it came to cooking her Thanksgiving turkey. The caller explained to Carol Miller, a 20-plus year Talk-Line veteran, Thanksgiving with her first husband was a bust since she forgot to thaw the turkey. She blundered Thanksgiving with her second husband when the foil pan she was using bent and slipped out of her hands leaving the feast on the floor. She was hoping the third time would be the charm so she called the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line to make sure she was doing everything right!
-When a Talk-Line staffer asked a caller what state her turkey was in (meaning how thawed was it) the caller responded "Florida".
-A woman in her seventies, cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time, called for help because her mother said she was tired of cooking and it was time her daughter learned how to prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
-A proud gentleman called to tell the staff how he wrapped his turkey in a towel and stomped on it several times, breaking the bones so it would fit in his pan.
-Another guy called to tell the operator he cut his turkey in half with a chain saw and wanted to know if the oil from the chain would adversely affect the turkey.
-A disappointed woman called wondering why her turkey had no breast meat. After a conversation with a Talk-Line operator, it became apparent that the woman's turkey was lying on the table upside down.
-Home alone, a Kentucky woman was in the doghouse when she called the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line. While preparing the turkey, her Chihuahua jumped into the bird's body cavity and couldn't get out. She tried pulling the dog and shaking the bird, but nothing worked. She and the dog became more and more distraught. After calming the woman down, the Talk-Line home economist suggested carefully cutting the opening in the cavity of the turkey wider.
-One caller had always cut the legs off the turkey before putting it in the oven thinking that was how you had to cook a turkey. She later learned that the only reason her mum had been doing that was because their oven had been so small that that was the only way to get the bird into the oven.
-A first-time Thanksgiving chef called in tears one Thanksgiving morning. She was so proud to have thawed the turkey successfully and continued to rinse the turkey - with dish soap! The tears started flowing when the turkey wouldn't stop sudsing.
-Then there's the time a lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied "No ma'am, they're dead".
-A lady from Colorado called about "how to thaw" her frozen Butterball. She proudly shared the fact that her turkey was stored in a snow bank outside. It had snowed the night before and it then dawned on her that she didn't have a clue which snow bank her turkey was in. At that point, the conversation was really over because she was now on a mission to go find her turkey.
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Originally Posted by Krozair
