Crikey, we're short on attackers after a few players left the game for various personal reasons, and two went to kingdoms with some friends in them. We'd better do something! I know, let's lay out traps for 'em, bait the suckers in, and nab 'em while they're fresh!
As we all know, attackers are highly addicted to waffles. We're not entirely sure why, but there seems to be some connection between murder, chaos and bloodshed that ties into waffle eating.
With this in mind, what we're going to do here is lay out a noose trap for our attackers, and bait 'em with strawberry waffles. The strawberries have been chosen because they're red, and everyone knows a good attacker is drawn towards the colour of blood as strongly as a bull is drawn towards a matador's cape.
If you happen to fit the following criteria, feel free to take some of these completely "free" on the house strawberry waffles with "no strings attached". I can personally vouch, as the kingdom's monarch, that we are not using any malicious tricks to capture fresh attackers, and if I randomly break out into hysterical maniacal laughter, that it's merely a medical condition and has no baring at all upon the situation at hand. Probably. Maybe. Waffles?
- We're looking for 5 active attackers
- Current skill level largely irrelevant
- We can teach new players the game from the ground up
- Good activity is required
- "Good Activity" is considered to be roughly any time your army is home
- Communication is the most important trait we require
- Applicants must be willing and able to acknowledge orders, to discuss issues, learn and be taught, and have fun
- Kingdom primarily uses Skype and UpoOpu; these are mandatory
- Kingdom goals this age are to structure and organize the kingdom into a more cohesive unit in prep for next age
- Training for this is via wars and growth, training players to do both at various stages and testing ability to follow orders and strategies
- We have 5x invites/slots open for new attackers so there's plenty of room
- Preference of Orcs/Undead at the moment due to kingdom racial spread
- Email of Strawberry Waffles so far has resulted in the loss of at least 3x DVD drives
- As such, we will send pictures of strawberry waffles, and you can pretend you're eating them
- If you are interested, send a private message to me and we can arrange for appropriate bribery to take place
Remember, other kingdoms may offer you such things as wealth, fame, and power, but we have waffles, and clearly this innate understanding of the innermost desires of attackers trumps everything else, so apply today!
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