I've been back playing for a couple months now. Had the good fortune to get into a kingdom at one point with a really experienced monarch who taught me a lot about the game. I am also the competitive type who gathers all the info I can because I hate to lose, and I'm very active.
I just realized I'm too competitive to be in a ghetto anymore. I'm sick of losing because of inactives and people building 40% homes, etc. I'm not looking for a kingdom that is so serious about this that they don't understand that I have a full time job, but I do want 25 active players with some competitiveness.
I'll play attacker or T/M, but I have a slight preference for T/M at the moment.
One common requirement that I'm not too interested in meeting is IRC. I just don't see the point. There is a built in chat now. Seems like IRC is a relic that people are holding onto for no logical reason.