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Thread: My Raging Clue Looking For a War Leader

  1. #1
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    My Raging Clue Looking For a War Leader

    Recruitment-thread browsers - I am in dire straits.

    I have somehow stumbled upon/collected a set of players that are far too commited to be continuing to suffer under my half-baked, while-baked, war tactics. To fix this, I am looking to bring in a dedicated war leader - someone knowledgeable, active, skillful, an eye for tactics, and, most importantly, a cool, easy to get along with team player.

    Let me tell you about our half-planned/half-stumble-towards-victory gradual rise up the rankings.

    This KD was born in Age 59, when I started playing Utopia in the depths of the ghetto and accidentally took control of a KD that finished #230ish. I merged with a tiny 6 player ghetto, and we named ourselves Broken Body Bits; from there we have steadily warred better KDs, recruited better players, educated ourselves and our own noobs, and paid attention during our losses. We merged with a KD called 'Flatliners' a few ages ago, named ourselves My Raging Clue cos no-one suggested anything better, and have slowly grown to be a reasonably good warring KD. We have a WW rate of just under 75% as MRC.

    We are a KD that wins most of our wars through activity and reasonable strategy, but we have come up short against really good warring KDs; in recent ages we have lost to CoL x2, WarCry, Ascension, WSK, TBB, etc. I would really like to break this trend, and to help me do that I am trying to bring in a specialised war leader for the KD.

    This player would be expected to plan for and lead wars, alongside myself working underneath you. They would not have to do this solo; there will be help around. They would not be asked to deal with any diplo, as I will do all of that. They would not need to nag provinces OOW, as I do that. They would be involved on council, but would not be required to make any decisions, just offer advice when asked for. Outside of war, they can be essentially inactive and just prep prov if they want.


    Our credentials:

    - win rate of 75% over the last few ages.
    - keen to fight wars vs really good KDs and challenge ourselves
    - love to retal-declare
    - really cool bunch of boys and girls who get on really well
    - a very old, established core who know their ****
    - little porn, but plenty of puppy-pics and occasional drunk selfies
    - use munkbot and whatsapp, have guys working armies in-out, and currently have our strongest ever lineup. Trying to improve, always.
    - highly active and commited group of players who deserve better war strat than I can give them.

    ------------

    If you have any interest in talking to me at all, please PM me on these forums, or in-game. My KD is currently tagged as My Raging Clue, and my province name is Eviscerating Eeyore, so if our KD tag changes you can find me that way.

    Seriously, this is a great place to be, and our guys are mostly very happy. We **** up plenty, but when everyone is a ****-up, everyone's individual ****-ups become less ****-up-y. Y'know?

    My guys are absolute animals, and at least one of them literally has the heart of a lion. He's also now banned from Sydney Zoo for life.
    Last edited by s0830887; 18-02-2017 at 18:36.
    Josh; leader of a lovable band of misfits, Pinoys, and probable virgins.

    My Raging Clue

    *If a Utopian falls in the woods, and no-one is around to see him...was he still bottom-feeding?

  2. #2
    Moderator umajon911's Avatar
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    Once upon a time,
    There was a Zulu who lived in a shoe.

    Josh approached him one day asking for war,
    As Josh threw a book, Zulu hit the floor.

    Zulu picked the book up without much hesitation,
    Yet Josh looked at him and said "Why the frustration?"

    Oh Josh you didn't know?!
    I live a crazy life and bury my face in the snow!

    Josh looked at Zulu and said, "Youre worse than a bipolar Panthira complaining she never sleeps"
    Zulu responds, "WELL AT LEAST I DONT **** SHEEP!"

    With that being said, Josh rox my sox. Will totally back this guy One Hundred Fiddy Percent! Someone help this guy out. Total fair play within his kingdom and just a genuine cat also. If I had the time, and the tactical skills other than raging on everyone, I would totally fill the spot! :-p
    “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
    - unknown

  3. #3
    Post Fiend
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    Good luck Josh! With the coming war, and with this recruitment

  4. #4
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    Thanks lads, to both of you!!
    Josh; leader of a lovable band of misfits, Pinoys, and probable virgins.

    My Raging Clue

    *If a Utopian falls in the woods, and no-one is around to see him...was he still bottom-feeding?

  5. #5
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    Still hunting. Get in touch anytime!
    Josh; leader of a lovable band of misfits, Pinoys, and probable virgins.

    My Raging Clue

    *If a Utopian falls in the woods, and no-one is around to see him...was he still bottom-feeding?

  6. #6
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    I can also Vouch for this KD, as they were a pleasure to war against. Having a strong war leader who can make some good decisions will go a long way to helping this KD reach their potential. Their activity is amazing, and they only need a few minor tweaks.

    -Nuck-

  7. #7
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    oh hai Josh! *waves*

    We warred MRC twice last three ages and both wars very close to EoA including one for WW crown.
    Whoever wants to join good warring KD with cool leader this is your place to be. We never had problems about DBing or some dramas which sadly became usual in this decade :D ('00's FTW!)

    Good luck Josh!

  8. #8
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    Thanks for the support guys. Much appreciated!
    Josh; leader of a lovable band of misfits, Pinoys, and probable virgins.

    My Raging Clue

    *If a Utopian falls in the woods, and no-one is around to see him...was he still bottom-feeding?

  9. #9
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    Josh, join us after you find the new war leader? lol

  10. #10
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    No poaching of Josh allowed! But seriously, how have we not found a new war leader yet?

    If you are an active player that has half a clue about strategy and tactics - send an expression of interest to Josh. If not for my uncanny lack of insight in to the game mechanics and woeful strategy play - I would apply! Instead, I will sit back, relax and throw runes around. And let's be honest, they are ****!ng hard to come by this age.

    Peace

  11. #11
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    I'll promise a bikini picture if you would join us :D

  12. #12
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    what are the perks?

  13. #13
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    Perks eh? The only tangible perk is that I buy credits and supply them if people need urgent sitting. But, that's not very encouraging. So let me put on my advertising hat and try to figure out how to make everything into a perk...hold on a second...okay, got it.

    We got boys! We got girls! We got a puppy or two!

    Perks of joining MRC include, but are not limited to, all of the following:

    - A super fun WhatsApp group where people share pictures, talk total ****, and are borderline racist. It also includes heavy amounts of bullying, bundled up as 'just a laugh eh'.
    - The continuing task of helping our Asian players learn English phrases that should be included in any good KD - especially taunting. I am currently trying to teach them the correct inflection, sound and use of 'nyah nyah!'
    - A strict policy of 'winning the banner war' every war. Taunts, banner changes, and gentle poking required.
    - A super positive environment - a proper team. None of that 'mostly a team, but one or two players are a bit county' nonsense.
    - People who will follow instructions in war 100%. There is excellent adherence to KD strategy here, and players don't hit off-target or argue with orders excessively. The fat is constantly being removed and replaced with more team-oriented guys.
    - A culture of monarch bullying, mostly due to the monarch being a bit retarded.

    I asked my players to give some endorsements of me to attract a war leader, but unfortunately I forgot that they are all total dicks, and this is what I got instead:

    - George, the most beautiful Australian you've ever seen - "He is a teacher in RL so he'll offer praise and set goals for your utopian experience. He writes the odd war award when we achieve a victory and he isn't too lazy. Or high. Or busy. So like once in every never"

    - Sam, USA, and also my better half: "He has really straight teeth for a Brit"

    - Brendan, also Australian, and apparently the most multicultural family tree in history: "You want us to write good stuff? I'll have to have a longer think"

    - Thunder, Singaporean 'pharmacist' who travels all over Asia selling 'pharmaceuticals': "Josh is my big mama. Ure da bezt. Did you write a war plan yet?"

    That's about the best I got.

    Come and help lead a genuinely cool KD, with a bunch of surprisingly funny guys and girls. You'll have fun here, honestly!
    Josh; leader of a lovable band of misfits, Pinoys, and probable virgins.

    My Raging Clue

    *If a Utopian falls in the woods, and no-one is around to see him...was he still bottom-feeding?

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by s0830887 View Post
    A strict policy of 'winning the banner war' every war. Taunts, banner changes, and gentle poking required.
    Last age when Settlers were tagged as Melons, we bought a melon at the market and made a gif of it getting smashed to bits with a hammer and put it as our banner. (It also had a sign on it with their kd location.) They're actually tools, but that's another story.

    This age, when we warred Canadians, our only Canadian player put on his favorite hockey jersey and we made a gif of him dancing around then falling over like a noob for our banner. They're nice, so only a metaphorical tool for them.

    So, the tauntier the better would be a good fit for us, I think. The perk for such a person would be the ability to unleash the full fury of their sense of humor.

    P.S. Josh, don't pretend like you know how to nyah nyah.

  15. #15
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    nyah nyah nyah nyah.

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