Background: So the STEWARD of (redacted) asked us to war, and after a day or so we thought OK, let's go for it. They were looking solid so we approached with caution, just a couple of hits in. They responded and gave us unfriendly, so it was game on with ops from our end. In the middle of this flirtation a KD came in and abduct waved us, like 18 grabs in 2 hours - ouch. Seems like (redacted) also got land waved at the same time. In any case, they gave us the button so we obliged and declared. The rest, you can follow below. My comments in green.
Mildly edited for chronological order -
Viscount STEWARD of (redacted) said: Intetested in war?
The Conniving Queen ME said: Lemme talk to my guys, I'll get back to you.
Viscount STEWARD of (redacted) said: Did you seriously ask someone to wave us for you? Your cowards. I have friends too...
The Conniving Queen ME said: Huh? No we didn't. We got waved too. I didn't accuse you of orchestrating that. Do you want me to? I too have friends :) Anyway did you get the message about the dodgy ops?
Viscount STEWARD of (redacted) said: If you do we should cf so there are no more shenanigans
The Conniving Queen ME said: Give us the button or CF if you're not interested.
Some time during the end of day 1...
Viscount STEWARD of (redacted) said: Hi. Ill wd at min time. I easbt expecting the war. Our M had a death in his family and ive been working a crazy amount. Were much better than this. Perhaps next age we can war under better circumstance. Well fight on another day but i hope you keep it clean and avoid abduct and mass as well do the same.
The Conniving Queen ME said: OK fair enough. Sorry to hear that, may we meet again next age under better circumstances. 48h is a bit of time away so shall we entertain each other with a plain old slugfest? Would propose stopping hits but "fake war" is a big boo boo these days.
Baron STEWARD of (redacted) said: Yeah, just slug it out. No need to stop hits on each other. I appreciate the understanding.
The Conniving Queen ME said:
July 22 of YR9 An unknown province from (redacted) invaded MY BUD and killed 6,612 people.
Look, we understand why you want to WD and it's totally fair, but when you guys expressly said no massacre - which I put in my own orders - and this happens... It's a grudge waiting to happen. We know who did it (DAT BIGASS HALFLING) and we intend to dispense justice.
Baron STEWARD of (redacted) said: You guys are honor whoring which is bull****. I dont kmow much about tye mass but id imagine he is sick of the constant whoring on him.
He says this, as his buddy was doing LL on our dude who got massacred.
The Conniving Queen ME said: LOL we're playing normally - we're not the ones breaking terms here. Plus your buddy just stopped ya from dropping at min time. I'd say he'll get what's coming to him.
Baron STEWARD of (redacted) said: I have no doubt you eere just playing normally. You are full of ****.
The Conniving Queen ME said: LOL OK bro. You would prefer all your men at 300 acres apiece and a dragon on your ass? We could have sent the dragon but I said stop cos your king wasn't doing good, and y'all were ending anyway. We went with vanilla max gains and vanilla ops, hold on the dragon and play at regular activity. It's not my fault your dudes are salty dildos they really did have a dude named dildo in their kd. and boy was he salty about us leading. Grow up and get out. Or don't. We're perfectly happy to play with you to EOA.
Baron STEWARD of (redacted) said: ****8ng clown
The classic f-word He spelt it with an 8.
Baron STEWARD of (redacted) said: Uh huh. ****ing clown
He resent just to fix the spelling.
For those who have made it this far, congratulations! These are the war stats:
** Kingdom news report **
For the time from June 15 of YR9 till January 17 of YR10 - 51 hours
** Summary **
Total attacks made: 281 (27,589 acres)
-- Traditional march: 250 (26,619 acres)
-- Ambush: 7 (683 acres)
-- Conquest: 7 (287 acres)
-- Raze: 14 (0 acres)
-- Failed: 3 (1.1% failure)
-- Uniques: 93
Total attacks suffered: 183 (20,504 acres)
-- Traditional march: 163 (18,886 acres)
-- Ambush: 18 (1,618 acres)
-- Massacre: 1 (6,612 population)
-- Failed: 1 (0.5% failure)
-- Uniques: 44
BONUS! A selection of Dildo's comments in the war forum -
So you decline to war us 4k acres up then after your "friends" wave us you then decide to declare. Real class shown as usual from utopia dickheads who can't even war on uneven grounds and have to stack the odds even more to press the button . Frankly you guys are pathetic and half the reason this game is dying so well done IF you win on a hollow spineless victory
I would really like a kingdom who could actually still accept a fair war ........ seems 4K acres and essentially 2 provinces up is not enough these days hahahahhana PATHETIC
If you recall, they gave us the button AFTER they got waved. Thank you for reading and have a safe and pleasant EOA!