A Russian guy is entering Canada. He's at the customs counter. Customs agent looks at his passport and asks "Nationality?" "Russian" "Occupation?" ""No, just visiting".




--
A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. She replied "Of course they were cleaned Father". "They're as clean as soap and water could get them". He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and they all started eating. The meal was delicious and he paid his compliments in spite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yells "Here Soap! Here Water!"




--
This young couple had only been married for about two weeks when the wife complains of a burning sensation in her chest. She tells her husband who suggests that she goes to the doctor to be examined. She arranges an appointment and goes the following day. The husband, while at work receives a call from the doctor. Doctor: "I am sorry to say your wife has acute angina..."Husband: "Yeah, I know, she's got a nice pair of tits too!"



--
Little Thomas comes home from his first day at school. His mother asks "Well, what did you learn today?" Thomas replies "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow".