A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. "How are you doing today?" the bartender asks. "Well my kleptomania keeps flaring up, but it's okay," the guy replies. "When it starts getting too bad I just take something for it."

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I walked into a video store today and said I wanted to rent 'Batman Forever,' " he tells the bartender. "But the clerk said, no I had to bring it back in 2 days." "What's a video store?" the bartender asks.

-catt