I totally disagree with the notion of not oping or retaliating. Not warring means not going to mechanical war. You offer a CF so they'll move on: it's not a declaration of sissy.
You aren't telling them you won't fight, you're telling them you won't go into a low GBP, higher speed, both sides ops chaosfest.
Let me tell you, we were being waved by some big kingdom, we offered CF, they kept waving and then some guy double abducted me. Oops. Retaliation is just the way it's got to be. My kingdom was not oping and this constitutes absolute rollover, unless I'm in your kingdom.
My point to my kingdom mates isn't that I'm greedy but that they weren't going to stop. Think about that, hard. My game life isn't to be the victim of a grand scheming bottom feeder who thinks they've tricked me into something. I'm retaliating properly.
Wimps and bottom feeders will go on. My actions won't change a culture of fear. The positive side is that my kingdom began to retaliate and the big kingdom honored the CF. I'm not here to tell you about ideal outcomes. I'm here to tell you I encouraged my kingdom to utterly destroy 6 provinces of the aggressing kingdom at all cost...without threats, just action.
Excalibus is like most of us.