True dealbreaks are fairly rare despite what you read in the forums.
People try to twist a lot of borderline play into an outright dealbreak because it's precedent that can serve them later. I'm paraphrasing and probably missing most details, but last age one kingdom threatened another to dealbreak, and the threatened kingdom felt that constituted a dealbreak and decided to act early. That instance had quite a bit of gray area so it was tough to get a consensus among other leaders who was in the wrong. It ultimately was solved diplomatically.
Gray area dealbreaks like that tend to happen at least once an age, and it's tough to get a consensus who was actually in the wrong.
Black and white dealbreaks like what happened in leading up to this war happen every ~10 ages or so. Typically the threat of the multiple top kingdoms dropping what they are doing and razing into the war is what stops these from being more commonplace.





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